Funny quote: I don't need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me...

More funny quotes

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

I finally figured out adulting. Just kidding, I burnt my toast again.

My bed and I have a special relationship. We are perfect for each other.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it most never use it.

Behind every great person is a substantial amount of coffee.